Formed in 1994 by Rose Melberg (Tiger Trap) and Jen Sbragia (All Girl Summer Fun Band), The Softies aimed to be an antithesis to the rat in a cage rage that was going on at the time, by way of spare but sweet melodies with emotionally rich lyrics. Two voices, two guitars, that’s all they needed to charm. The duo released records on K and Slumberland throughout the ’90s before drifting apart as their lives took them different places, but Melberg and Sbragia remained friends and reunited for shows occasionally. When both lost their mothers, their friendship rekindled and deepened and so did their desire to write together again. The Bed I Made is their first album in 24 years and their voices and songs are as wistfully sweet as ever. It’s also a testament to their friendship. “All of the time that we wasted apart,” they sing on “Go Back in Time” in angelic harmony “Wasn’t good for my heart, or anything.” Have kleenex nearby for this lovely album they could’ve titled Verklempt. Give the whole thing a spin below.
With that in mind Rose and Jen have made us a playlist, “15 Songs for Crying in Your Car,” which includes Linda Ronstadt, The Roches, Sade, Elliott Smith, Nico, Robert Wyatt and more. Listen, and read what they wrote about each of the songs, below.
THE SOFTIES’ 15 SONGS FOR CRYING IN YOUR CAR
“Heart Like a Wheel” – Linda Ronstadt
The original McGarrigle Sisters version has an extra, even sadder verse but this is the version that I grew up with and that makes me feel the most. The piano arrangement alone is sadness in a nutshell.
“Too Happy” – Tracey Thorn
I remember really listening to the lyrics for the first time while riding my bike down T Street in Sacramento. I had to pull off on to the sidewalk to cry. The single moment when a held hand is dropped. I don’t think there are many records that had more of an influence on the beginning of the Softies than this small masterpiece.
“Just as You Are” – Robert Wyatt
A declaration, a plea, a confession. The beauty softens the brutal truth of perceived inadequacy and strained acceptance. The jazz vocal harmonies hit deep. Pure emotion.
“Runs in the Family” – The Roches
From one of the most important albums of my childhood. The foundation of my love and understanding of harmony. This song in particular always fascinated and spooked me out a little. I knew there was a lot of darkness there but wasn’t old enough to put a name to it. Generational trauma never sounded so beautiful.
“Condor Avenue” – Elliott Smith
That delightful guitar playing in the beginning doesn’t prepare you for what comes after. To me it always felt like multiple sad and mysterious stories all in one song. I got the cassette of this record from Elliott when I met and played with him in 1994 and was not in any way ready for how much it would knock me off my feet.
“It’s Only Love That Gets You Through” – Sade
I don’t think anyone can listen to this song without feeling an overwhelming sense of SOMETHING. A reminder of my own capacity to love and the hard-won wisdom that comes from knowing pain.
“I Can’t Make You Love Me” – Bonnie Raitt
I’m sure everyone’s mom has cried to this one. The universality of unrequited love. Taking the dregs when you know you deserve more. The losing game of mismatched affections. UGH.
“Placeholder” – Hand Habits
A beautiful and mild lament. How sad and yet so relatable to be a placeholder for someone or something else. Stunning song.
“God Turn Me Into a Flower” – Weyes Blood
A song that makes me look inward. A song that asks us to know ourselves. It reminds me I’m beautiful and then I cry and cry and cry.
“One By One” – Connie Converse
This song summons an almost fairy tale-like image of wandering in the darkness. With your love so near, but always ahead or behind. To feel truly alone in life can feel like a tragedy, but there is also comfort in knowing we can make it through hard things on our own when we need to.
“I Wish That I Was Beautiful For You” – Darren Hanlon
Many years ago I was deep in the throes of an unrequited love had to pull off to the side of a rural highway to sob for a bit when I heard this song for the first time.
“The End” – Sybille Baier
What a spectacular and singular group of songs she made. This one captures the deep sting of a break up with such elegance. Sometimes love just ends with no good explanation. It evokes every love I ever lost.
“These Days” – Nico
“Please don’t confront me with my failures”. This song reminds me that most of us really are just doing our best.
“Ever New” – Beverly Glenn-Copeland
In these times when hope feels like such a luxury this song gives me faith in the future. A song so full of life and hope that one must cry to truly feel it.
“Hold On to Your Love” – Lavinia Blackwall
A meditation on grief for me. I love this Scottish artist. The melancholy piano refrain and playful vocal melody punctuate the simple and heartbreaking sentiment of “hold on to your love… death always comes too soon.”
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The Softies celebrate The Bed I Made with Pacific Northwest shows over the next few weeks and will then hit the rest of North America this fall, including a Brooklyn show at Public Records on October 2 with Rebecca Schiffman. All dates:
The Softies – 2024 Tour Dates
Aug 23 – Vancouver, BC @ The Fox Cabaret (record release show)
Aug 24 – Portland, OR @ Polaris Hall (record release show)
Sep 6 – Seattle, WA @ Fremont Abbey (record release show)
Sep 7 – Anacortes, WA @ Unknown (record release show)
Sep 29 – Providence, RI @ AS220
Sep 30 – Boston, MA @ Crystal Ballroom
Oct 2 – Brooklyn, NY @ Public Records
Oct 3 – Philadelphia, PA @ PhilaMOCA
Oct 4 – Washington, DC @ Songbyrd
Oct 5 – New York, NY @ Mercury Lounge
Oct 24 – Sacramento, CA @ The Starlet Room
Oct 25 – San Francisco, CA @ Bottom of the Hill
Oct 28 – Long Beach, CA @ Vine
Oct 29 – Los Angeles, CA @ Scribble
Oct 30 – Santa Cruz, CA @ SubRosa